Who is A "Rock Star?"

I have heard the phrase "rock star" being used a lot recently by young people. I think that they are using it incorrectly. I would never call someone in the bands Death Cab for Cutie, or Something Corporate, or Avenged Sevenfold "rock stars." Just because you are in a band doesn't make you a rock star. Rock stars all have unique looks, unique style, and are not "regular guys." Just because you are in a band doesn't mean you are famous. Who can name one guy in My Morning Jacket or Broken Social Scene? "Rock star" means to me guys like Elvis, Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Dylan, etc... So I have made a few rules that one should use to apply to so-called "rock stars":

1. -Your name should be recognizable. If Paris Hilton is more famous than you for doing nothing, then you are probably not a rock star.
2. -You should be on the cover a music magazine this month. I just looked at a few today (Dave Grohl, Franz Ferdinand, Arctic Monkeys, Oasis).
3. -Your picture should be able to exist in a collage with Elvis, Lennon, Hendrix, Morrison and not seem out of place. Kurt Cobain? (yes) Fred Durst? (no way) Morrissey? (maybe) Liam Gallagher (Hell yes!)
4. -You should probably have a good record deal and are the main songwriter in the band. Some hired hand who plays keyboards in a band is probably not a rock star.
5. -You should have a great style. I go to shows (Dead Can Dance) and people in the audience look more like rock stars than the band themselves.
6. -You should be on a major label. Do you think we would be talking about Nirvana or Green Day today if they were on some puny DIY label?
7. -You must be able to sell some records. You are not a rock star if you sell 100 records and 50 people show up for your gig at the Smell.
8. -If you are standing with the cast of Jackass and seem like you belong, you are not a rock star. You are probably a skateboarder or a surfer.
9. -If you are standing with the cast of Quadrophenia and seem like you belong, you are not a rock star. You are probably a refried mod or a member of some Swedish band.
10. -You must have a killer haircut.
11. -You have probably met Cynthia Plaster Caster.
12. -You have gone out with a model.
13. -You have gone out with a famous actress.
14. -You have gone out with a girl in another band.
15. -If you have facial piercing, you are probably not a rock star. But you could always find employment at Hot Topic or a record store.
16. -If you have a goatee, tattoos, wear shorts, and baseball caps. You are definitely not a rock star.
17. -If you are Clay Aitkin, you are not a rock star. You will die a virgin.
18. If you are a person meets who almost all of these requirements, then you are probably a rock star. The others are just surfers and skateboarders, who don't give a fuck.

-Alexander Laurence